Beautiful Surprises

You can’t plan life…it just happens.

I’ve always been about the plans…doing research, preparing, knowing the ins and outs before making a decision.

Planning out my life path.

But some of my major life changes …my best and most precious moments…have been surprises.

The first: University of Toronto

I failed two attempts to apply to University of Toronto- in my eyes the holy grail of education.

In my last stitch effort to get a higher education, I applied one last time to a different field with little faith.

In the midst of sun bathed- windows down- kind of summer…I got the letter.

It was bigger than all the others. I knew right away.

I was accepted to University of Toronto …in Mississauga.

Umm where’s Mississauga?

This acceptance letter brought me down a path I didn’t expect.

To a educational field i didn’t plan and to a place i’d soon call home.

i graduated

The Second: Life Partner

During the summer months waiting for my acceptance letter…I met my life partner.

Of course I didn’t know it then though.

I thought it was just a fevered summer affair.

 He was even warned “she doesn’t do the boyfriend thing.”

Well he proved them wrong.

He definitely took me by surprise.

cute later

The Third: Buying a House

Me and my man had just started to have conversations about saving up for a house.

When we received a phone call. Our landlord was selling the apartment and bringing someone by to look at the place.

Noooo! We didn’t want to move.

After an astonished discussion…do we move on this opportunity? Do we put up an offer?

we did- and we got it.

WE’RE HOME OWNERS!

capital towers

apartment

sunrise

My next big surprise is probably what it actually means to be home owners! EEK!

It’s beautiful where life can take you.

This isn’t what I planned out…where I thought I would be in life.

But life is full of beautiful surprises!

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My wife is not the same woman that I married | The Matt Walsh Blog

I came home today and came across this title for a blog article across my news feed.

Intrigued I took a read. It speaks about marriage and divorce. How the statement, “sometimes people change,”  is not a legitimate reason for ending a marriage. Let’s face it, you gave up. People are always changing, you didn’t choose to marry that person only for who they were that one day you married them. You choose to marry them and be united to them for the rest of your life and whoever they will be during that journey.

I think people have forgotten that marriage is about choosing a LIFE PARTNER. My grandmother, who was married to my grandfather since she was 19 to the day he passed, once told me: “love isn’t enough.” That’s because it’s much harder than that. It’s about always trying, always putting the relationship first. Your partner is always changing, so you should always be trying to learn more about your partner and how they’ve changed- never get complacent.  Sure you may know her “chapter 1” so well that you could tell it to her, but there are always new pages being written.

Marriage is just as much about the structure: sacrifice, compromise, struggle, and support as it is about the mushy-romantic centre: joy and love.

You can read Mark Walsh’s post below:

My wife is not the same woman that I married | The Matt Walsh Blog.

Ps. Here is a quote I loved from the blog:

“sometimes i can read her like a book, but sometimes she wears an expression I’ve never seen. Sometimes she smiles like the world is telling a joke that only she understands”

pss.

Like the “Matt Walsh Blogger” I may not be speaking from a point of experience like 30-40 years of marriage. But I have chosen my life partner, and we’ve been together for close to seven years and living together for over 5. We’ve made it through doing it long distance, through money struggles, through moving twice including to a new city, and what I’m most proud of is the “growing pains” of becoming adults as me and my man surprisingly met when I was 19. What comforts me is I know that we can change drastically as people and still hold onto each other through it all.

 

 

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Asian Impression Photography

I’ve followed @asianimpression ie. Teban on instagram for quite some time.

His instagram is dedicated to asian beauty and fashion.

I am never disappointed with his posts. He even adds witty and inspirational captions to each photo.

What’s not to love about that?

You can check out his work here:

http://www.asianimpressions.photography/

or his instagram:

http://instagram.com/asian_impressions

Teban had decided to come to toronto to do collaborations with some of his friends from Instagram.

He contacted me to do a 3 outfit photoshoot.

I got to say I was a little shocked.

1. little ol me? really?!

2. umm.. Im not asian? haha … luckily I was one of the few rare exceptions

3. Oh crap. Im not in the shape I would love to be for such an opportunity.

But you know what it was an amazing opportunity that such insecurities would not hold me back!

I was pleasantly surprised that Teban choose to shoot in Kensington Market with its beautiful colours and culture.

I thought that it was such a perfect setting.

….

Outfit one: My favourite

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Every wall that Teban placed me in front of- i loved. Exactly why i picked this outfit.

It was fun, colourful, and funky.

Perfect for all these graffiti walls.

luckily he was willing to shoot me in front of my favourite wall, the black and white one,  even though the sun overexposed everything.

This outfit represents how I like to have fun with my wardrobe and experiment!

……

Outfit Two: Teban’s Favourite

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The housing in Kensington Market was a perfect backdrop for my more classy work look outfit.

I think this outfit best represents what my instagram shows.

Classy #dailygrindlooks

….

Outfit Three: The Cute Outfit

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This outfit is more of how I look on my days off.

On the weekends I like to keep it simple and cute.

So the locations he chose were actually quite perfect- they look like everyday scenery.

Everyday scenery for a Everyday look!

Which is your favourite?!

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Motivation to workout: 10 tips

Finding the motivation to workout can be hard.

It is hard trying to get started, its hard to keep yourself on track, and its hard to keep your results once you’ve achieved them.

I’ve been at each stage of my fitness journey, and I’ve come up with 10 helpful tips to keep you on track!

Most people know that the biggest battle of working out is: Mind over Body.

goal

1. Set  a goal

If you just say I want to lose ten pounds. That is just a wish.

A goal is the desired result: I will lose ten pounds

and how you are going to accomplish it: exercise X amount of days, change my diet in the following ways…

A goal is not set in stone either…if you find something isn’t working, change it!

2. Work toward something

 This ties in with the “set a goal” tip.

Sometimes I found that even though I set a goal, it was hard to get started if I wasn’t working toward something.

There has to be an end in sight- whether that be a set timeline you set for yourself or maybe you are working towards a big event like a marathon or something. Or maybe even a summer vacation that you are working toward that bikini bod.

A light at the end of the tunnel to see you through those hard days helps keep you on track!

3. Schedule it in 

The main reason people don’t start working out is because they say they do not have the time.

Fact is…you have to make the time.

Think about it…if at some point during the day you have some spare time and think: “oh, what should i do now?” …the answer will never be workout…lets be real! haha

Instead schedule it in.

If  every day after work or after dinner you work out right away- then it’s done and over with.

When I was really busy at a stressful job…I found after work I didn’t want to do anything. So i changed it up!  Instead I scheduled my workouts first thing in the morning. No one would confuse me for a morning person so this was definitely difficult, but i found that making myself get out of bed to workout was easier then trying to find the last bit of energy after a long day.

Find what works for you!

4. Make yourself accountable 

keep going

It’s easier to say “ah well” if the only person that knows you set a goal is yourself.

Instead make yourself accountable to your goals.

I personally use: My man and my social media (hence fitness on my blog) to keep me accountable.

Tell your spouse to keep you accountable to your goal, tell your friends, tell family, tell coworkers.

These people will ask how your progress is going, and this will help keep you on track.

5. Workout Buddy 

If you tell people that your on a fitness journey, it may even help you find a workout buddy.

These people will help make sure you get yourself to the gym because you’ve scheduled a date with them…you scheduled it in!

and they will help with those days when…being sweaty and gross is the last thing on your mind.

I found when I worked-out with my man… it was an external pressure to workout. When you or your partner don’t want to workout, the other is there to give encouragement, to help push a little harder in the gym.

But choose your workout buddy wisely. You don’t want a crutch for a workout buddy.

6. Get Angry

get angry

I find this one works for finding the motivation to workout and to keep going. A couple times, I would put my workout clothes on, start working out. And want to quit when I barely got started thinking “yup this is exactly why i didn’t want to do this.”

I found getting angry helps push me through. When I don’t want to go no more, I get angry for giving up, I get angry for being tired. And that rage helps push me through.

It can also help you get started to workout. Have a bad day at work? Get Angry and take it out in the gym…you will feel a hell of a lot better after all those wonderful endorphines release.

7. Think about how far you come

earn it

Sometimes thinking about the end can be daunting. I have so far to go until I get the results I want.

And you’ll feel like just throwing in the towel.

Instead think of how far you’ve come. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far. Look at the results you have managed to get!

How could you give up now?!

Feeling good about your results will help motivate you for even better results.

8. Rewards

Do not reward yourself with food. That’s just silly. I workouted out, now i get to have some double fudged cake.

Instead, say to yourself something like…”If i workout now, later I could ….”

It may just be something you like to do every night anyway like watch your favourite television program.

But if you set your mind to the fact that you have to earn that privilege, than you are more likely to get that workout in before hand.

Go out there and earn it!

9. Self Pep Talk 

will you

This one is the most personal. You have to find something that speaks to you!

I personally found a quote related to fitness that actually got me off the couch to workout one day and decided to write it in lipstick on my bathroom mirror.

So that every morning I see it and I am reminded about my goal, and why i am doing this.

It isn’t always going to work, but something that comes from yourself is likely to have the greatest impact on your behaviour.

It shows self determination.

It could be anything from a quote, a visual aid such as a photo, or an experience you’ve had.

Something that reminds you why this is important to you.

10. Music 

Everyone knows that music helps pass the time during your workout. You can find endless mixes for working out on youtube.

But i also find music helpful as a pump up to get going!

Sometimes I’ll blast some music, and it will lift my spirits and ill be dancing around my apartment like the big nerd I am.

Before you know if I’ve worked up a sweat, and I’m actually ready and happy to workout!

endorphines

What do you use as motivation to workout? Let’s share ideas!

Hope you find mine helpful!

 

 

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Starting A New Job

Starting a New Job 

Well this is it- I am finally starting my new job and I couldn’t be more excited!

I applied to so many jobs I couldn’t even keep count. But this was the only job I REALLY wanted and after two interviews..I.actually.got.it! When I got the acceptance call, I literally jumped for joy…and had a conversation with my man of elated disbelief at our big break.

Now I actually have to prove they made the right decision.

No worries, I love to learn- Nerd Status…say whaat?! That is all you are expected to do in the first couple weeks of starting a new job. Learning the new culture, what the company does and how they do it, and lastly learn what is expected of you.

Bring it on!

Learning something new also brings nerves as well- there is a lot of uncertainty. This is the place where you will spend most of your time. The people working there will become like family, but will they be a cozy-close-nit-family or a dysfunctional one?

To find this out means a lot of networking- meeting new coworker friends and who’s who. Learning who are good allies, and learning how to navigate relationships with everyone in the office. Such as learning not to talk to the boss before their first cup of coffee in the morning.  This networking will help you get a clear perspective of the culture of the office like the unwritten rules such as where everyone has their lunch or smoke break, who does the dishes…and what not!

All this uncertainty and expectations for success = stress.

And unfortunately…

Stress = Weight Gain

After every major change in life- it has been known to cause weight gain.

New relationship- gain some happy weight…start college- put some party weight on…start a new job- stress weight…get married- happy weight again…have children- of course you gained weight…but surprisingly most of the time the father does as well. Any major change in life often leads to weight gain.

So of course I’m a little worried about falling off track of my new fitness journey.

 I am doing really well. But I know that I will have less time to work out, and more stress unwillingly consuming my energy.

The stakes are high to say the least.

I’m relying on self- determination and support from my man to see me through.

Do’s and Dont’s of Starting a New Job

I’ve read a few articles in anticipation of my first day, and here are three do’s and dont’s I found helpful to pass on to you.

Do’s

1. First Impressions are still important!

Just because you landed the job, you still have to back up all those wonderful things you said about yourself in the interview process. You still want to stand out with success- it is not expected for anyone to come in and be successful at the job right away. But small wins while learning are definitely good. To be successful you must understand what the company deems success.

2. Understand why you are hired

This one is connected with the first. If you understand what the company deems success, you can more easily understand why the company believed you were ideal to become successful in the role.

Understand the expectations of you as an employee.

3. Be Conservative

On the first day you do not know the culture or what is allowed in terms of dress.

So the safe bet is to be conservative.

Here is my first day outfit:

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I went with navy pant and a royal blue blazer. I added some personality with the polka dot top- I can’t stand being completely boring! But i choose a simple bun look with no jewellery.

Don’ts 

1. Compare old job to new

Either way it can give the wrong impression. If your comparisons put your old job in a good light- coworkers will wonder why you left the old job? If you compare your old job in a negative light- well put simply, you look like a complainer.

This comparison syndrome also creates a distinction between you and the company reminding people you are new. You are supposed to be seamlessly assimilating.

2. Don’t try to change things

You may innocently be talking about your old position because you believe the information will be helpful at your new job. But you are the rookie, still learning and likely not seeing the whole picture.

You are simply a sponge in the first few days or weeks at the new job. No one expects you, or wants you to turn the place upside down. Your job is to observe, learn, and later make an informed suggestion.

3. Don’t expect hand-holding

 Obviously you are new and need guidance. But don’t expect that your manager is there to tell you what to do. Instead see it as you providing help for the manager to get things done.

The difference in perspective is the difference between:

the employee who when finished takes a break

and the employee who when finished asks the manager what else is needed?

Whether this initiative is something you can keep up is beyond the point…it is merely a good idea to show initiative in the beginning and hopefully throughout your employment!

Lastly: don’t be late. But that point should be moot by now.

 

 

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Cardio Vs Weights

As women the thought of looking masculine isn’t appealing- but don’t be afraid of lifting weights!

When I started working out; all I thought was I didn’t want big muscles- that’s not sexy.

But guess what?

You know that ideal body type you covet- it’s achieved through lifting weights AND cardio.

The ideal body type i coveted was: lean arms, trim tummy, toned legs, and a nice shaped booty.

I’m guessing your ideal body type sounds pretty damn similar.

Well through much research and constant encouragement from my man/work out partner- I realized that all those things I wanted would never be achieved through cardio alone. To tone…there must be muscle; to have a nice lifted booty…you must lift weights….PERIOD.

But I can talk at you all day, quote research, show you statistics and it doesn’t have the same effect as showing you the proof!

I don’t follow much fitness accounts on instagram but I found @taifitness different from the rest. She was a real transformation story, and completely honest and forthright about her feelings and evolution through her fitness journey.

Say Hello to: @taifitness

www.mytaifitness.com

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This is her at the start and present day of her fitness journey. Jaw dropping results right?!

She has gone through some amazing transformations including changing her workout routines.

She started out mostly with yoga and cardio on the left and then incorporated weights.

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And the results speak for themselves. There is much more lift and shape to her body type on the right photo compared to the left. You can melt away as much fat as you want, but that will never give you the shape you are looking for.

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She is looking absolutely spectacular!

If you are looking for a personal trainer, motivation, and nutrition advice you can contact her at:

tai@mytaifitness.com

Have you been convinced of my point yet?

Well…

There is a reason that Tony Horton from P90X  incorporates weights into his “lean routine” P90x Program:

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1. shoulders and arm routines: for those lean arms I want

2. Legs and back routine: for those toned legs and that lifted booty i want

3. core synergistics and abs workout: for the trimmed tummy i want

All these routines incorporate weights or use your body as weight- And they are in the LEAN routine..to give you that Lean Body type you want.

Lifting weights to gain mass: is lifting heavy weights for short amount of reps

Lifting weights to gain lean muscle: is lifting lighter weights for more reps. BUT you must go until it is a struggle unless you aren’t working out. If it isn’t a struggle, then up the weight!

Another benefit of lifting weights for the seasoned readers.

It helps our aging population stay healthy and independent for longer.

I hope this convinces even one of my readers to incorporate lift training into your work out routine.

I got to say: STRENGTH IS SEXY!

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I was Fired?!

youre fired

Say Whaat?!

My first job out of university, I was let go… just after a raise and before the one year mark.

I honestly never thought I would be fired in my life. Immediately I felt relieved…I don’t think that is supposed to be your reaction.

But afterwards the stigma attached to this circumstance hit me.

Is this going to affect my future?

I knew I had what it takes to be successful, but would someone take a chance with me now?!

Don’t Dwell- Get Going!

Instead of dwelling on all the uncertainty faced before me, I put it in my rear-view mirror and looked forward to the future.

Whatever my feelings were about the company and the circumstance i was in… were irrelevant now- they weren’t going to change what happened.

So,

I updated my resume, and dived head first into my job search. Spending most of every day on it- essentially treating it as my new job.

Take Advice where you can get it!

 During my first job interview- my interviewer gave me some advice:

1. Ditch the cover letter- most interviewers don’t read it anyway

2. Use the achievement style resume – Information on achievement style resume

Obviously i did not get this job- but he did give me some valuable advice.

And the results were amazing.

The amount of callbacks for my resume increased substantially, and it landed me a job offer two weeks after I changed my resume!

Obviously I also took the time to send a thank you email for his advice.

It’s not the end of the world

Of course during interviews the question came up: “What was the reasoning for leaving your last employment?”

Don’t lie- it will just come back to bite you in the end.

Turn the conversation back to the future and the possible position.

Example: “Although my last job wasn’t the right fit; This job is a perfect fit for the following reasons…”

Don’t complain about or slander your last company-  it is only making you look bad.

Instead a company would prefer to hear that you learned from the experience.

When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens!

I learned a great deal from my first employment. Although i was let go, it was definitely the reason why I got the job i was offered.

I gained so much more confidence in myself from the experience I gathered there.

I know I can handle anything a job can throw at me.

I am appreciative to my past- but Elated and Excited for the future at my new job!

dr seuss new job

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